Wednesday nights don't get much better than this. We've got Champions League football with Arsenal facing Bayern Munich in what promises to be a cracker, a devastating documentary about the 1988 Camelford water poisoning that's been thirty-seven years in the making, and Shetland hitting its final stretch. And if you're still up at 2am, there's a quietly brilliant Joaquin Phoenix film waiting for you.

Table of Contents

Quick Picks: Tonight's Best

Early Evening (7-8pm)

Live UCL: Arsenal v Bayern Munich - TNT Sports 1, 8pm

Champions League Football

The Emirates hosts Bayern Munich in what's shaping up to be the tie of the night. These two have history - proper, needle-filled European history - and both sides need the points. Arsenal under Arteta have shown they can mix it with Europe's elite, but Bayern remain Bayern. Expect tactical chess, moments of brilliance, and probably a few heart-stopping minutes.

Meanwhile, Liverpool v PSV is on TNT Sports 2 if you fancy the Anfield atmosphere instead.

Grand Designs: House of the Year - Channel 4, 8pm

Grand Designs House of the Year

Kevin McCloud and his architect mates are on the hunt for Britain's best homes again. This one focuses on houses that've been properly embedded into their landscapes - glass walls framing moorland, timber structures that look like they've grown from the hillside, that sort of thing. It's pure property porn, obviously, but genuinely inspiring if you're into design. Or just want to feel mildly inadequate about your own four walls.

Prime Time (9pm)

Poison Water - BBC Two, 9pm ⭐

Poison Water Documentary

This is the one to watch. In July 1988, twenty tonnes of aluminium sulphate were accidentally dumped into the wrong tank at Lowermoor treatment works in North Cornwall. The result? 20,000 people drank contaminated water for weeks. Hair turned green. Skin burned. And for decades, residents have fought for recognition of their health problems.

What makes this documentary so powerful is that it's taken thirty-seven years to tell properly. The people affected are finally getting their say, and it's a devastating indictment of official denial and corporate cover-ups. Classic investigative journalism - the kind BBC Two does better than anyone when it commits.

Shetland - BBC One, 9pm

The latest series continues with DI Ruth Calder (Ashley Jensen) picking through the threads of what's becoming an increasingly tangled case. The Shetland landscapes remain properly cinematic - all moody skies and windswept clifftops - and the ensemble cast deliver that understated Scottish drama that's become the show's trademark. We're in the final stretch now, so the pieces should start falling into place.

Celebrity MasterChef - BBC One, 9pm

Look, sometimes you just want to watch famous people panic over a risotto. Gregg Wallace does his "buttery biscuit base" thing, John Torode strokes his chin thoughtfully, and celebrities who've spent years with personal chefs suddenly realise cooking is actually quite hard. Comfort viewing.

The Hunting Party - U&Alibi, 9pm

If you've got U&Alibi (formerly Alibi), this psychological thriller has been quietly building a following. It's got that Nordic noir vibe - dark secrets, complicated relationships, atmospheric locations. Not essential viewing, but solid if you're after something twisty.

Doc - Sky Witness, 9pm

Season 2 of the Italian medical drama that's built up quite the cult following. A doctor loses his memory in an accident and has to rebuild his life - discovering things about himself he might not want to know. It's essentially a medical procedural crossed with an amnesia thriller, and it works better than it should.

Late Night (10pm onwards)

Emergency Helicopter Medics - Channel 4, 10pm

Following the air ambulance crews as they respond to some properly harrowing emergencies. It's not easy watching - real trauma, real stakes - but there's something compelling about seeing these paramedics work under pressure. Channel 4's emergency services docs are reliably well-made.

C'mon C'mon - Channel 4, 2am (Night Owls Only)

Alright, it's late. Very late. But if you're up, or willing to record it, Mike Mills' black-and-white gem from 2021 is worth your time. Joaquin Phoenix plays a radio journalist who ends up looking after his nephew across America. It's tender without being saccharine, observant without being twee, and Phoenix proves he can do quiet brilliance as well as the intense stuff. Beautiful filmmaking.

If You're Not Into Football

If the Champions League isn't your thing, your evening basically splits two ways:

For drama: Shetland delivers reliable procedural tension, or The Hunting Party if you want something darker.

For documentary: Poison Water is genuinely unmissable - important storytelling about a scandal that's been buried too long.

For background: Celebrity MasterChef or Grand Designs won't change your life, but they're perfect for half-watching while you doom-scroll.

The Viewing Schedule

Time Channel Programme
8:00pm TNT Sports 1 Live UCL: Arsenal v Bayern Munich
8:00pm TNT Sports 2 Live UCL: Liverpool v PSV
8:00pm Channel 4 Grand Designs: House of the Year
9:00pm BBC Two Poison Water ⭐
9:00pm BBC One Shetland
9:00pm BBC One Celebrity MasterChef
9:00pm U&Alibi The Hunting Party
9:00pm Sky Witness Doc
10:00pm Channel 4 Emergency Helicopter Medics
2:00am Channel 4 C'mon C'mon

Final Verdict

Football fans have a belter with Arsenal v Bayern - genuine Champions League drama with everything to play for. But if sport's not your thing, Poison Water is essential viewing. It's the kind of documentary that reminds you what public service broadcasting is actually for - telling stories that powerful people would rather stayed buried.

Shetland's solid as ever for your crime drama fix, and if you're a night owl, C'mon C'mon is a properly lovely film that deserves a better slot. Set the recorder.